I’ve come to recognize you by this whirring of my thoughts, the spinning of my head. When my stomach begins to tighten, and I avoid my dayplanner for the first time in months, when it seems better to just stay in bed, I know you are near.
But, oh November! When the day seems to start later, but I don’t get to sleep longer, when I get to see your sunrises at the start of my full days, I know that I can handle you. I know that in the midst of assignments and midterms, papers and labs, that there is a purpose in all of this.
It is so hard to remember that grades on a page are not me. It is easy to call myself that ‘A,’ or a ‘C’ (or anything in between) written in red on a page.
But it’s not me.
Right now my biggest pressures are to meet professors’ expectations, achieve certain grades, to deal with the stress better than I did last year, and to make the rest of life count for something besides school. I know your own pressures probably look different (if you’re not a student), but I know we all feel them in some way.
The sky is one of my favourite things to dwell on in times of pressure. It doesn’t matter what is on my plate for the day, or how much sleep I’ve gotten, when I look at the sky I am forced to slow down, and to breathe. I look up. I look beyond who I am, where I am failing, where I am achieving, and where I am just getting by. I look up and say, “Good morning, Lord.”